Learning to be more visible without feeling exposed

I’ve been saving draft versions of blog posts for months. It’s been a long time since I published anything and I don’t really know why.

Of course, there are always excuses: My work takes a lot of creative energy and I don’t have any left for my own blog. I don’t have time. Nobody is going to read it so why does it matter. It’s been too long since I last published and people will judge me. Covid.

Then, today I was having a conversation with someone I have a lot of respect and admiration for. She said something that made a lot of sense to me:

“We both need to learn to be more visible without feeling exposed.”

Separating my “self”

I find it relatively easy to write for work. The words pour out and I am able to assess whether the tone is right or the message is clear or if I am fulfilling the brief I’ve been given. I can distance myself from my writing and look at it with a more critical eye.

When I write for myself, I feel like every word carries a little piece of me onto the paper (or screen) and I can be viewed in every clumsy attempt at humour, typo or rule of three. I feel exposed.

For someone whose imposter syndrome enjoys the comfort that writing anonymously affords me, Medium has become quite a scary place to put down my thoughts. But those words today have convinced me that I have to put myself out there without fear (or at least ignoring the fear for now).

A personal promise

So now I am making myself a promise.

I am going to publish this, today (3rd February 2022) and I am going to work my way through my drafts in the coming days and weeks and publish anything that is even half legible.

I am also going to update my 5 year old profile picture.

It’s time to be visible!

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